Some things, quite a lot of things actually, are beyond my comprehension.   For example, lots of modern art, discordant music, mumbling actors, people who rev up motor bikes in the early hours of the morning, the difference between designer specs and ordinary specs, why so many young women have started to offer me a seat on the underground. 

And now muddy jeans, costing £330 a pair.

I realise the expression ‘beyond my comprehension’ is as much a comment on the paltriness of my comprehension as it is on the things that are beyond it.  I appreciate that my comprehension is not fixed like my blood group, but malleable and amenable to learning.  I can remember a time, not so long ago, when tattoos and studs through tongues and noses were beyond my comprehension.  But I’ve mellowed.  My comprehension, albeit slowly, moves like goalposts.

When distressed jeans with cuts and slashes first appeared I assumed the wearer was too poor to buy a new pair.  When I discovered they cost more than jeans without cuts and slashes I was incredulous (that’s another way of saying it was beyond my comprehension).  Whilst admiring distressed jeans as a marketing triumph, I still found it amazing that people ventured out wearing jeans full of peep holes.  But I have started to take distressed jeans in my stride.  There’s hope – the goal posts are on the move.

However, now I must brace myself for jeans that appear to be caked in mud.  Apparently, Donwan Harrell, a graduate of Virginia Commonwealth University, who leads a course in ‘jeanology’, is behind the latest innovation in expensive denim.  The luxury department store selling the jeans claims they are jeans that show ‘you’re not afraid to get down and dirty’.

I have some jeans that I wear when gardening, carrying out DIY jobs and decorating.  They are seriously grubby.   Yippee!  I’m ahead of the game for once.


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